In this podcast, I discuss some of the biggest downsides of being a fitness model competitor which nobody wants to talk about. Loneliness. Social isolation and at times, social rejection.
I discuss how fitness model competitors rarely drink, rarely go to restaurants, and sometimes struggle juggling the pressure from non-competing peers with meal planning and training demands.
I also discuss simple weight loss and the requirement to use meal plans or some method to track and monitor calories. I cover the social influences that your peer circles will have on your effort to try and get into shape.
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Hi everybody. You’re listening to the Brad Newton Show episode 20 on behalf of seekfitlife.com with Brad himself. Thanks for joining me. It is 9:00 in the morning. I thought to myself, “I’ve got to get this out before I go into work,” because as you know I still work a corporate job, at least for now. But I am working on a side hustle which is my business around health and fitness. I want to take it this out to the world real quick and that is I want to talk briefly about how I feel lonely as a fitness model competitor that’s getting ready for my next fitness model competition in literally 24 days from as I record this audio.
I didn’t want this to be like a sob story or me kind of just wanting sympathy. That’s far from what I’m trying to achieve here. But I think it’s important everybody knows that when you’re a fitness model competitor you’re not out at restaurants and you’re not out at cafes eating from menus every single day. Very rarely you’re out at a restaurant eating off a menu. I find that I’m pretty good at solitude. I can handle it. I grew up as an only child so I can handle it. But I find that because I am social person in general that I’ve had to just reject pretty much everybody’s request to catch up for a drink, because I just can’t drink.
Fitness model competitors don’t usually drink. They don’t. They can’t because they’re usually on meal plans that doesn’t allow it, because we’re talking in terms of calories one gramme of alcohol seven calories, and so one gramme of fat it’s nine calories so you can see that if you consume, if you’re drinking on a regular basis, it’s going to be very hard to lose fat to maintain a certain type of physique, not to mention the impact that it will have on your training performance and that kind of thing. A lot of fitness model competitors don’t drink at all, zero. They might have one, two, or three drinks on the rare occasion, but it’s very rare.
Usually going out with friends it’s like a no-no. It does happen, but you’re just doing, you’re usually socialising with other competitors. You’re going out and you’re having soda waters together because neither of you can have anything off the menu. You just can’t go out with friends, like normal friends, like people that don’t compete, and go and watch them eat, make them feel awkward while you’re just sitting there watching them.
What I found that I can do at times to kind of mitigate being trapped in a room or the gym and cycling between my bedroom and going to the gym and training and going to the supermarket and buying food to meal prep is when I go out on the rare occasion it’s only for soda waters to … We’re talking beverage side of things, but then when it comes to the menu it’s like I look at the menu and go for high protein vegetable kind of combination. I’ll go for like a steak with vegetables on the side. Usually restaurants will throw a lot of oil into their vegetables and toss the vegetables in oil to give it flavour, and so you’ll usually walk away, you walk into the equation trying to achieve a high protein relatively low calorie meal, but you’ll usually get high calories because you’ll usually get a whole lot of fats with your vegetables, and of course restaurants, well, that’s what they do, right?
That’s the consequence of eating out, is that you don’t know what you’re getting really in terms of calories, and that’s why a lot of fitness model competitors don’t go anywhere because it’s easier to control the variables when you cook food yourself in your kitchen, and you can weigh and measure everything. Everything’s got to be weighed and measured as a fitness model comp … I mean look, if you’re wanting to lose weight and you’re listening to this and you have no interest in competing, and I get it, I won’t be doing this for ever, this is just an experience, you need to have calorie control. It’s boring as heck. No one wants to hear it. It is the anticlimax of the dietetics industry. It is why books and programmes, like they don’t sell on this principle of maintaining calorie deficit because it’s so fucking boring. It gets skipped over, page one, chapter one, because everybody wants the hack, everybody wants the fucking supplement that’s going to get them the body they want.
If you want the body you want, like if you want the body of your dreams, then the answer to it is on page one, chapter one. It’s the very basics of energy balance. I’m going off on a tangent but it’s all about calories. It’s energy. It’s that shit. It’s what we want to get under control. As a fitness model competitor when you’re going out to a restaurant, you lose that control to a point, you lose the control of, control of energy balance of where those calories are going, like, “How much fat have they put in my vegetables?” Then when you’re going for a more technical meal, forget about it. Going from a crème brulee. Desserts will completely destroy a fitness model’s conscience because you just don’t know what you’re getting.
It comes back to feeling lonely. It comes back to feeling isolated. I get people’s mixed opinions on this. Well, it’s your choice. I get it. It is not about have I made the right or wrong choice. I acknowledge this as a complete lifestyle choice, and with it, with the great physiques and everything that come from being a fitness model competitor and challenging yourself and going that extra mile, the downside of competing is that there will be times when a lot of the time when you’re not around other people that don’t compete. You can’t be. It just doesn’t …
Like John can’t invite you over for a pizza because you can’t have it, because it doesn’t fit into your overall ecosystem of a fitness model competitor. Samantha can’t invite you out for wine and tapas because it just doesn’t fit within your programme as a fitness model competitor. However, Charlie who’s also competing on the 7 May, 2017 can actually hang out with you because he is on a similar kind of programme to you. Like attracts like, and I get why, it’s like the fitness model community very much interact within each other and socialise with each other to kind of like not feel lonely.
We feel isolated from our families. We feel isolated from our friends that don’t compete, we do, because we just kind of eat. We have to control everything. That’s what I’m trying to say, we have to monitor, track, weigh and measure, and somebody who doesn’t compete doesn’t understand the logistics of that. But ironically for someone who doesn’t want to compete, needs to track and monitor, not to the same extent that we do, but there needs to be some degree of calorie control, restriction, and what not, to achieve weight loss, to achieve fat loss. That’s how it works.
Look, I help people do that. I mean, if you’re listening to this and you want to achieve some, a bit of weight loss, I mean without competing, without going to the extreme of what we do where we pretty much block 95% of our social interactions because we’re focused on competing and we’re focused on posing practise and we’re focusing on getting our bodies down super lean, then I help people with that. Go to my website, seekfitlife.tv/course-library. Check out what I can offer you. I can help you.
But in saying that if you’re not wanting to compete, then you do need to accept that there are times when if you’re wanting to lose weight, you’re just going to have to give up partying until 2:00 in the morning at times. I won’t say never, but there are times when if you’re partying every weekend and you want to lose weight, it’s going to be a fucking struggle, it’s going to be a lot harder then what it needs to be. If you’re wanting to lose weight and you don’t want to give up socialising six days a week, six nights a week, five nights a week, by having one or two or three glasses of wine, it’s going to be harder. It’s doable but it’s going to be harder.
There’s a trade off between socialising, eating out, socialising, not socialising, but eating out and drinking, having social drinks, that kind of socialising, there’s a trade off between that and the goal of wanting to lose weight. If you want to be like … Okay, if you want to stand out, if you don’t want to be like everybody else in terms of physique, it’s interesting because we’re all like the average of the five people we surround ourselves with. You look at the people around you, they’re usually a reflection of you in some way. So if you don’t like the physique that you’re walking around in and you look at the five closest people to you, and they’re kind of rocking the same body, if you …
Look, here’s the reality. If you socialise with these … I’m not saying ditch your friends, but here’s the truth. If you want to stand out, you have to momentarily, there’s a moment in time where you have to separate yourself from the very people that reinforce who you are, because if you don’t you’ll just go back to how you were, you just won’t change. You have to bust out of that bubble that the five closest people to you are reinforcing you on a regular basis. You have to.
It’s hard for fitness model competitors because we’ve got separate ourselves. I used to be out of shape. I used to hang around people that didn’t give a fuck about what they ate, and I didn’t give a fuck about what I ate because they didn’t. We socially reinforced each other and so we kind of, we never progressed. We never kind of … There was no driver to transform our bodies because we reinforced the status quo which was out of shape miserable eating pizza. That was my lifestyle years ago.
Now I don’t socialise with those people anymore. Not because I’m better than them. It’s not about being better. It’s about the standard of my life that I in order for me to be the best I can be with my physique, I need to surround myself with different people. For you to be better in life, in anything, in any capacity, you need to take a fucking hard look at the five people you surround. It could be your family, your brother, sisters. It may be family. It could be friends, people, your colleagues maybe, and you need to reassess the situation. Not ditch them, but it’s like where do you want to be in your life with your physique, ultimately where do you want to be. It’s like you got to find people that kind of reinforce that new level that you want to play at.
Interestingly enough it doesn’t mean … This is the irony of it. It’s like you want to be around people that are fitter and stronger than you, because that’s how you become better. But then, do they want to be around you because you don’t reinforce who they are? There’s like a vacuum where you’ve got to be separated from people so you can transform yourself, and then you can be injected into a new culture of guys that value their health and fitness. It’s an interesting dynamic.
I’ll talk more about this later, but I want to talk about being lonely and that I’m not looking for sympathy, I’m not looking for somebody, I’m not looking for people to go, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I feel sorry for you.” Don’t do that. That’s not why I’m calling out. I’m calling out because this is the reality of a fitness model competitor. There are times when we’re just, we’re isolated. I’m in a room now doing a podcast. I mean I can be out having brunch or lunch or whatever with my mates, but I can’t. I fucking can’t and that’s a choice, and I’d have to own that choice as a competitor.
Yeah, I hope this was helpful, and I hope this was maybe inspiring. If you have any questions reach out to me email@example.com and or .com, doesn’t matter. If you need help with anything, just send me a message, send me an email, and I’ll certainly get back to you. If you have any questions about weight loss, fitness, if you want to transform your body, if you want any kind of thing like that, then I’m here for you to help you out. I want to be a fitness model competitor, I get it, I totally get it. It’s not for everybody, but I’m doing this because I just want to be the best I can be and whatever else. This is the downside of it. This is the reality of it. Every good thing in life has a downside, every pretty picture on Instagram of fitness model competitors and what not has a fucking down side, and this is one of them.
If you need help with any transformations, I have free courses on my website. Go there, seekfitlife, all one word, seekfitlife.tv, and go and check the course library. I give heaps of shit away for free. I just love sharing knowledge. I love helping people. That’s what I do. I rock it. As I said, if you have any questions, reach out to me. Otherwise have an awesome day. Rate this podcast if you liked what I have to say. It helps boost the ranks and shit and spread the love and spread the word, and keep rocking it my friends. Have an awesome day and I’ll speak to you very, very, very, very soon. Bye for now.