I go into girl rejection during contest prep. An area of my life I have never gone public on before.



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Brad Newton:

Hi everybody, welcome back, brad from SeekFitLife.com. Thanks for joining me if you’re a subscriber, you’re frigging awesome. So, as you know, you might know, I’m actually getting ready for the World Titles as a fitness model competitor in June 2017 and … I’ll just move this camera around a bit like this. And I’m actually getting ready for my very next fitness competition in literally 13 days from now. I’m actually getting more excited about that.

But I want to talk about something in this particular video and I was actually really hesitant to even talk about this because I’m not a very dramatic, I’m not a dramatic person. I’m not into reality TV. I’m not into drama. As kind of far away from that stuff as you can imagine. But I thought about it, and I thought you know what? No, no, no, this is actually part of comp prep. It’s part of the journey of how I’m sort of dealing with my emotions around my competition preparation. ‘Cause I could easily just talk about nutrition and training and that kind of shit and it’s like, yeah okay great, like, wow, you’ve meal prepped, great. You’ve lifted a few weights and put ’em down. But how are you feeling, Brad? What’s going on in your life?

To be honest with you, I’ve no problem with speaking with cameras, but I had to think about divulging this part of my life, I’m like, uh, do I really want to talk about this? Do people want to hear this? So I’m going to be talking about a girl rejected me last night, and it was a girl I was dating, and we went on I think four dates, right? And so, I want to say real quick, if you’re not into this kind of stuff then, you don’t have to watch the video at all. I’m actually going a little bit outside my comfort zone by talking about. And it kind of segues into, as a fitness model competitor, it’s a very socially isolating experience. And so, it’s … I haven’t even had a chance to tell my mates yet, because I’m literally 13 days from stepping on the stage, and so I work my job, my corporate job, and I’m also doing the filming and running the business and helping people with their own fitness journeys, and I’m doing that through my website. And the dating thing on the side is literally just something I started doing in the last couple of weeks.

So anyway, if you’re not sure, I mentioned very briefly about a girl that I started dating and so her name is Taryn. She won’t be watching this. She won’t be watching this, so I feel a little bit comfortable being completely open about it. And so we went on a couple dates. Have you ever dated anybody, right, and okay, we’ve all done this, dated somebody and the first one or two dates, it just don’t work. You don’t vibe it. You don’t have that connection, there’s no chemistry. Or you can relate on a few things, you have a few things in common, but you don’t really gel, and there’s maybe a few times where there’s an awkward laugh or an awkward silence or you feel a bit uncomfortable. It could be worse, you’re just like, “Ugh, when’s this date finished?” You call your mate or your friend calls you. It’s time to get out.

We’ve all been there with certain people, right? However, this girl’s a little different in that we … We kicked it off really well in the beginning. It was so, I call it serendipitous, because it was like, “Hey, I was doing this.” “I was doing this, too!” “Hey, I was doing this.” “I was doing this too!” You see that dynamic? It was really ironic. And I spoke to my housemate about it, and it was almost like this girl’s a carbon copy of me. Just, it’s crazy. Gets up in the morning, crushes life. Very passionate. And into fitness, but more than that, more than that, just on my level in terms of her personality, just very much on the same level. And I feel like she was vibing it as well. Like, totally.

And we’d go on the couple of dates, we went out for dinner, it was great. But there was no awkwardness. It flowed really well. I actually talked briefly about this in a couple of other videos, like, previous videos, and just how well it went. And then, you know, what happened was, she went off to Queensland for a week, and over Easter. Today’s the 24th of April. So she went off to Queensland for a week to see her family, and then … you know when you’re texting somebody, and you have this tempo, right? And there’s like a bit of a tempo with the messaging? And then the tempo changes. Like, you send a message and it takes forever and it’s like, oh, maybe they’re busy or whatever. But then it becomes day in and day out where it’s like, they never get back to you or they take like two days to get back to you. Well, that was kind of what was happening. And I was like, “Oh, maybe she’s super busy, like me.” Maybe she’s super busy.

Let me read this out to you, right? Let me read this out to you. She pretty much said, right? She got back to me eventually when she was in Queensland and she said, “Look, Brad. I need to be honest with you. I’m looking at moving back to Queensland at the end of the year.” We were in April. And I was like, ah, okay. She goes, “My heart’s here.” I’m like, okay. So that’s, she’s backed off because she doesn’t want to start anything here in a different state. She’s looking at moving back. And then she came back and she came over for dinner. By the way, there’s no hookups. No hookups at all. Just dinner. Just like, chats, dinners, hangouts, going out, day trip here. There’s four dates. We’d been on four dates, I think. Yeah, four dates I think.

And so she came over here. And I cooked dinner, the best I could cook. Now, okay. I’m not a chef. I cook dinner like meal prep style, super duper basic, mixed veggies with baramundi, with some spices and stuff. Very much like modern meal prepping every day. What’s really ironic is that she likes to eat like that. She goes, “Brad, you know what? Don’t worry about trying to cook, be fancy with me. I’m happy to eat what you’re eating, you know? If you want to … if you have your meal prep and your competition’s coming up, I’m happy to just eat what you’re eating.” I’m like, “This chick’s really cool.” See what I mean? If you’re a guy, watching a girl watching this, you’re going through contest prep, and the person you’re dating is eating what you’re eating, it helps a lot. It really does. That was, you know, how we … one of the reasons it kicked off really well. There’s many other reasons, but that was one of them.

And so, there was no hookups or anything. She just came, she came for a couple of hours, she went home and then she had to leave the day after, early in the morning. Long .. not really a long story, I’m almost finished. Anyway, so distance again. And I’ll read this, this is really hard for me to do. Okay, so. Okay, so. Okay.

Saturday morning, 7:50 in the morning. Miss T with a B. That’s her initials. “How was your training sesh? Or did you smash the snooze button several times?” No response. Thereabout 2 PM, I sent a message saying, “Hope you’re well. Do you want to chat somewhere, like on WhatsApp or Messenger?” ‘Cause I hate sending text messages, it’s just annoying. But I’m better with WhatsApp. And I’m better with Messenger, ’cause I can send audios and videos through Messenger. And there was no response.

And then the following day at 4 PM, I was like, “Is everything alright? Just being curious. Just curious, is everything alright?” And that was at 2 PM on Sunday. And then I said, “Is everything alright? I know you’re doing your thing. You know … being awesome and all, but I honestly don’t know if you’re not vibing it with me anymore. I know you’re miles away, but this communication thingamajigger is all we have. We definitely rolled on. An impeccable start. Something that doesn’t often come around. I’d like to keep up the momentum and see where it goes, but if you’re honestly not vibing it, just let me know.” All right, that’s pretty much it.

And then she sent a message back. So I said that at 4 PM. Later on that night, at 9:30, she goes, “Hey, hey. Just arrived home,” back to Melbourne. “I was driving with Lauren,” a friend, “I wasn’t able to answer. To be honest, if my lack of communication is anything to go by, then I don’t think I quite have the same feelings for us as you do.” Ugh. Oh. “I don’t know what it is and I’ve been trying to work it out, as I see a lot in you.” Ah. “I’ve been trying to work it out, as I see a lot in you I like and admire. But that desire to want to be with you and around you all the time isn’t. I also don’t know if that is me and my own barriers or a reflection of my feelings of us. It’s hard to explain or work out. I guess for me the gut instinct is crucial and I honestly don’t know how to read it right now, hence the backing off a little. I’m sorry Brad, you deserve more.”

I was like, ah. This came in last night. 9:30 last night. And then I sent her … I was in the supermarket doing my meal prep shopping and I sent her a photo of that. It’s my meal prep, so it’s my shopping basket, got my spinach and my chicken, that’s my competition, 14 days out meal prep right there. And then I wrote, “Strict comp prep. I’ll text you in a bit.” I was in the supermarket. And then I got home and I said this, almost finished. “Well, Ms. T. Re-read your message properly, welcome back. You probably catch the creeper message upon AM.” It’s an ongoing joke. The creeper message. I’m up late, like until … ’cause I’ve been training, I’ve been going to the gym and doing my posing practise and my stage practise and I don’t usually finish until 11:30 at night, midnight. Ever since I’ve known her, I’ve been texting at like, midnight, one o’clock in the morning, two o’clock in the morning, when I get home and sleep. And I’m usually up early in the morning, at 5:30, six, 6:30. Anyway.

“My intuition is telling me you are block your feelings a little. With everything we have connected on so far, it seems very serendipitous. Because 99% of dates with others in the past seem to be on different wavelengths.” Just being brutally honest here. “I don’t sense that at the slightest here. Things float like water in a cup. [Bruce Lee].” Like water in a cup … “But seriously.” It is a serious statement, just kinda make a joke out of it, right? “Things seem to naturally flow. Nothing forced. Like … I even told my housemate last week, “Louise, I think I’ve found a carbon copy.” Ha, ha, ha.” And then I said this, follow-up. “I’m still open to future dates, #567 and those bangers need to be cooked up, seriously.”

Okay, so. I’ve got. All right. So I got sausages in the fridge and I’m not supposed to have them. They’re not on my meal plan. But for a chick, I can have two or three, I’m going to have two or three of these … we call ’em bangers, right? Bangers. Sausages. Kangaroo. Kanga-bangers. Kangaroo sausages. I was like, “They’re still in the fridge, right?” And so the thing was, that she was going to come ’round one night and cook them up. And so they’re still in the fridge. So anyway. Back story.

“I’m still open to future dates, #567.” So. Date five, six, and seven. “And those bangers need to be cooked up seriously, as it is still fresh. You haven’t even been flying with,” ’cause I have a pilot’s licence, ” … or hiking,” ’cause I love hiking. ” … Or SCUBA diving,” ’cause I’m a SCUBA diver. “Or the thousand steps,” which is like, the thousand steps. It’s like a trial run. ” … or training,” like in the gym or F45 or whatever. “Or Muay Thai,” ’cause I love kickboxing. And I’ve done Muay Thai in Thailand. “Or guitars.” I play the guitar, so she wants to learn the guitar, but I’ve never brought the guitar out with her around. “We haven’t even left Melbourne for trails.” I’m into adventure sports. We had done nothing.

“So we have a lot in common. My gut tells me that … maybe you haven’t come across too many dudes like me. [I don’t know.]” Maybe she has, I don’t know. “And I think deep down, you know you could fall for me and you’re blocking that possibility. All right, my dear, believe it or not, I’ve got to practise for competition. This is a very short term, I promise.” As in, practising  late at night for the competition. “Sweet dreams.” And then I said, “Haven’t written a message that long since I was 18.”

All right, that’s it. That’s pretty much it. Now, I haven’t heard back from her, that’s cool. Busy, it’s 8:00 in the morning, whatever, let it go for a couple of days. But yeah. Honestly, I feel really disappointed. I really do. And I know it’s got everything to do with the comp prep because my mind is not the competition, it’s more on this chick. It’s more on the girl and the rejection. And I fucking hate it. I hate rejection. It’s, ah. You know what? I get it. Now, if you can vibe with me on this story, leave your comments below, share your story, because I want to hear it from other people. If you had this with a girl or a guy, you’re really vibing it, like this.

When I say vibing it, I mean you really … you’re not bullshit vibing it, like, you actually genuinely feel like you’ve got this connection with his person and they just flipped out and they’ve put up walls. They’ve iced you out. How did you deal with it? What do you do? What do you do in this situation? Because I’m not like, I’m not a desperate dude by any means. I’ve been single for awhile. I’ve been single for a couple of years. Of course, I’ve dated girls, but it’s always the same story. When I go on dates with … by the way, I haven’t dated a chick in a long time. This is … It’s been awhile, you know? I’ve been focusing on serving the community, you guys watching this, producing videos, helping people with their fitness journey and things, and that’s been my focus. And obviously training and competitions and that kind of stuff that’s been my focus, but it’s only very recently that I decided to put myself on the market. Only a couple of weeks ago.

And then, you know, and just see what happens, right? I’m not desperate, by any means. And I don’t want to come across like that. But I feel like … I’m very much a passionate dude. If you’ve seen any of my videos, but I just feel like what do you do in this situation? If she wants her fucking space. I respect it, but, this is a shit test. If you’re a guy watching this, this is a classic shit test. Classic, classic shit test. This is when the walls come up and it’s … it’s frustrating. For guys watching this, it’s frustrating. I’ve been through this. This is like, two Argentinian girls, a German girl, and Aussie Girl 1, Aussie Girl 2. Taryn. The last one. They all do it. They’ve all done it.

It’s the same. It’s predictable. It’s predictable, so … It goes really well in the very beginning, and you’re like, “Wow, I’m on Cloud Nine.” And then all of a sudden, it’s this, stone cold. But I understand, from a chick’s perspective, too, right? I understand that girls … It’s like, they’re testing us. They’re testing us to see if we’re actually going to stick around. They’re testing us to see if we’re not a jerk. They’re testing us to see if we’re genuine. They’re testing … I get it. It’s a survival mechanism. Girls do it to protect themselves. And guys they come across and say, “Well, you shouldn’t be like, so independent. You’re just a fucking jerk. Girls are independent for a reason. The girl’s doing it because she’s protecting herself because she’s been single for, like …” This girl for example, the one that I like and we’re vibing it? You know, she’s been single for two years. A girl or guy that’s been single for that long is usually quite independent, and when you’re independent you kind of just come along to somebody and say, “Why are you so independent?” There’s a reason why you’re independent ’cause as a chick in the world, the fucking crazy world that we live in, you have to be independent. It’s survival. You can’t be a damsel. You can’t be, like, this vulnerable queen. You’ll just get fucking wiped out by evolution.

A girl needs to be Beyonce to protect herself. That’s my opinion. That’s my opinion, and I’m not into relationship advice, but that’s how I see it. I’m in this interesting situation of where I don’t know if I should just walk away because it just seems like, you know, she needs to maybe I just need to respect what she wants. And she’s pulling back and maybe if I just wait here, she might come back. But then. But then, it’s like, maybe she’s wanting the pursuit and she wants me to pursue her, but then I don’t want to come across as being a desperate dude, ’cause I’m not. I don’t want to be like, “Hey,” do you know what I mean? I don’t want to every five minutes, “Hey.” I don’t do that. I’m not into that. Like, I’ve got this, I’ve got filming, I’ve got training. There’s competition. I don’t have time for that.

Anyway. So I’m in .. Ah! Hard annoying situation, so. Anyway, look, sorry to drag you over the coals at almost 20 minutes talking about a chick, but look, it’s part of comp prep. You have to know about this. It’s hard for me to read those messages out, because they’re personal. That’s personal. Very personal. That’s what’s going on right now, and it’s sometimes a little hard to focus on the comp in 13 days from now, ’cause of that. I like this girl. I really do. I really like this girl, and to be brutally honest, I don’t even know if she’s the one. We’ve only been on four dates.

As I said, she hasn’t done half of that stuff that I mentioned before, like flying and hiking and SCUBA diving and this and this and this and this. Anyway, so. I hope, maybe you can contact her. Just say that you should give this guy date number five.

Anyway, so. Thanks very much for tuning in. Slightly awkward, if, yeah. I’m sorry about this. I had to tell somebody. And this is my journey and this is part of my journey, so. Aside from all of that, if you have any other questions about anything. Fat loss, weight loss, building muscle, whatever, then you can always message me directly. Brad@SeekFitLife.tv. If you’ve jumped straight into this video and you’re not familiar with anything else that I do, or any other videos that I shoot, this is not like a dramatic channel. This is not where Brad just bitches and whinges about girl. He doesn’t. He really doesn’t.

This is the first video out of 260 videos where I’ve actually come out and talked about a chick, so this is not my normal self. I’m not usually this open to people that are watching this from Zanzibar. Thanks very much. If you’re not a subscriber, please do so. I’m essentially getting ready for the World Title, so thanks again, you’re awesome, and I’ll see and speak to you very soon.



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