Your peer group can be a toxin or a tonic. Your best friend Mike or your older sister Katherine. The peers you look up to and value their opinion are most likely screwing you over when you attempt a weight loss program.
How? Let me explain.
This may come across as brash but let’s be real honest here. I used to hang around losers. And no, I’m not blaming others for failing to get that fitness model body I now have sooner. I’m just pissed that I didn’t recognise the impact they had on me when I tried for years and years to transform my body.
By the way, the guys I associated with have stellar personalities. They were the life of the party. They had a decent beer palate (and beer belly,) and seemed to know all of the bouncers at some of the bigger night clubs in Sydney and Melbourne. At 5 am in the morning, we would often be swallowing entire kebabs and New York style pizzas after a night of club-hopping, usually in the middle of some body transformation program I had started.
They’d smoke weed, eat pizza, drink beer, and watch the footy. Whey protein shakes were a completely foreign expression to them and they’d often question how my weight loss program was going. Of course, I would always say that it was going great — in the middle of bashing through pizza and drinking beer. Yeah, okay…
Here’s the truth. There was no way I could be where I am today if I had continued to associate with these guys. Great guys. But they were pulling me down and I didn’t recognise this at the time.
Not to mention, my father played a subconscious role in stifling my success and achievements. After graduating university of 5 years with a Psychology Major, finishing a majority of my flight training, and launching online fitness courses to help people lose fat and gain control of their fitness. He would often respond with a predictable and monotone two- or three-worded response: “Hmmm, very good.” Followed by a 30 minute rant about how the world is collapsing and the world is full of corrupt politicians that are out to get me (or him or who knows?)
My father was more passionate expressing his hate for his older brother and my mother, and some other family member. But, when it came to my personal achievements in life… he just didn’t give a sh*t. Pulling praise from my father, which I valued most, was like pulling teeth from someone who has no teeth. Impossible.
He is just. so. negative.
It’s hard to achieve greatness in business, in health, in your personal relationships, when you are living in loserville — a peer group that you would classify as being “nice” and “friendly” that really do “care” about you. But their friendly “supportive” behaviour is really a PR front for deep insecurities and jealousy that work to undermine your efforts to achieve a greater life.
Remember, we live in a world full of people that receive internal satisfaction from tearing shreds off people that want to achieve their dreams. Google “tall poppy syndrome” and you’ll see what I am talking about.
If you are struggling to stay on track with a weight loss or body transformation program. Ask yourself a serious question. Who’s opinion of me do I really give a sh*t about? Because it will be THAT person that you are leveling yourself to out of your own subconscious desire to be “approved” by them.
I’m telling you. This sounds like a bunch of psychobabble non-sense. But this is really practical. It’s very real. You need to take these dynamics seriously.
If you are out of shape like I was… you need to start dis-associating yourself from the one… two… or three people from loserville that are dragging your ass down. Not forever. I’m not saying to cull them forever. I’m saying… for the next 6 months or so, you need to associate less to them and associate more to people from winnerville where you are most likely going to be carried across the finish line during tough times (and not be fed pizza and wine as a “reward” from loserville friends.)
How did I do it? I started getting my ass into the gym, doing group classes and meeting new people. I started befriending personal trainers and group fitness instructors. I started to engage in conversations that were out of my league. I didn’t even know what a barbell was, or a repetition! I struggled at first.
The more time I spent in the environment with winners, the more my personality and values shifted to place greater importance on an area of my life that I always neglected — my health and fitness. If you compound the small influences that day-to-day living in winnerville has over the period of 5+ years, you would have built a solid psychological foundation for fitness greatness.
I’m telling you now. I would not be a fitness model competitor now if I associated with the same dudes 7+ years ago. I would still be chowing down pizza, trying to understand why AFL was so different from NRL, and planning the pubs and clubs that had Friday afternoon Happy Hour.
So, what do you think? Finish up reading my message and move on to the next. Or spend the next 5 minutes doing deep into how much you care about Steven’s opinion of you and that weight loss program.
If it’s not Steven. It might be your mother. God bless. But right now, you need to spend 3 months being isolated from her. She loves you but she is toxic to your dreams. Then… after 3…4…5 or so months, once you’ve hit a milestone, give her a call 🙂
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