In this audio, I talk about the importance of building yourself and how other people will try and tear you down.
This is an important distinction and you must recognise this dynamic if you want to be successful in life.
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Hi everybody and welcome back. It’s Brad again from seekfitlife.com, thanks for joining me once again. It is the 24th of April, 2017. I am documenting my journey for the World Titles as a fitness model competitor which is coming up in June 2017, so not too far now. My very next competition is in literally 13 days from now, so might just quickly flash up a few images come straight from my Instagram stories, right there.
Been up really early this morning. Got up and did some training, feel amazing. Did an ab routine and did my shoulders, and did some biceps as well. That was pretty much my session, I feel pretty good. I talked about the little girl rejection story a little bit earlier on, that was in the previous video. Again, I think to myself, “Should I really be talking about this sort of stuff?” But yeah, everyone needs to … I think it’s important, it’s part of com prep. It’s part of preparing me for the right girl. I don’t know.
Look, I did say to myself that if I was going to document my competition prep that I would be open and honest and transparent about everything, and this part of my life, I have to work dating around my com-prep and, of course, it’s going to affect … Dating affects people in every … If you’re preparing for a competition it’s … Girls, guys, it’s going to affect you, it’s going to have an impact on you. It might impact your ability to train or whatever so that’s why I’m talking about it.
In this video I want to talk about building the biggest building in town, and what does that mean? There’s this thing of … Especially the YouTube culture where other YouTubers all want to tear each other down, or if you’re on a weightloss journey there are people around you that might want to tear you down a little bit, and they might do it more aggressively than other people. They might say, “Steven! What are you in this programme for? Why? You need carbs! You don’t need carbs! You need fat, you need protein. That’s too much protein.”
If you have never been around these people, they do exist. I know this from my own experience. When I was going through my fitness journey one of the biggest challenges I had was that I was dealing with people around me that didn’t value a fitness transformation as much as what I did. They were out of shape themselves and they were, I guess, deeply insecure that I was changing and they weren’t. I like to talk about this because I think it’s really important that when you’re going on a … If you’re on a mission to transform your body or any part of your life, you want to transform any part of your life, you actually need to physically be removed from negative bullshit. You have to be completely removed from people that potentially bring you down.
It doesn’t mean to completely cut them off completely and never see them for the rest of your life. What I’m saying is that when you’re in a transformative stage in your life in any capacity, whether you’re building a business, whether you’re building your body, whether you’re building an empire, a financial empire, whatever, than the people that … It’s always be the people immediately surrounding you, your five closest friends, they’re going to be the ones that are going to most impact you. They’re either going to get behind you, which is 10% of the time, or they’re going to bring you back, and that’s 90% of the time. And I’d be brutally honest here, it happens more than what you think, and if you don’t know it’s happening than you need to really closely look at who’s influencing you right now, honestly.
If you want to transform your body and you haven’t that’s probably one of the biggest reasons why you may have made two steps forward and three steps back, because when you start to make progress people around you may be initially supportive and then they go full circle and say, “No, no, no, what you’re doing is ridiculous, you should try this.” And usually, usually, coming from people that are out of shape. Usually.
So your focus must be on you, hundred percent. I know it sounds [inaudible 00:04:21], it has to be. Your focus is building the tallest building in town, your physique, or the biggest empire in town, not worrying about other people. This is really … This is hard, it’s hard … It’s easy for me to say, “Ignore people around you.” What you actually need to do to be real practical rather than me telling you, “You need to be removed from the toxins in other people which are the toxins in the environment,” you actually physically, physically, need to be removed temporarily from those people. Temporarily.
Rather than just say … I’m not going to say, “Just cut off your friends completely and never go back.” I’ll tell you what I did. I was heavily involved in my private Facebook page with my high school friends and yada yada yada. Psychologically I felt like when I would post an image or a video it was that validation from people in my Facebook group that would like it, that would comment on it, that would react to the photo or the video … And so subconsciously it was the validation thing. We all look for it, we all seek it.
So whenever we do something that we want to do deep down and we take a photo or we post it on social media or whatever, and we’re posting to an environment where those people’s points of view matter to us, whether they’re family, it’s usually family or friends, right? Close family, friends: sister, brother, mother, whatever, then we’re going to behave a little differently. We’re not going to be our full selves because we’re scared that we’re not going to get that validation. That’s it, that’s the truth. So what I did, I still have my private Facebook page but I actually don’t go on there anymore. I don’t even use it, it’s just there. It just sits there because that’s the ecosystem that I was looking for validation from, and that was subconsciously dictating my behaviour.
I would never go to my Facebook group and say, “Guys, I’m actually a YouTubers now and I’ve got 200 thousand views and this and this,” I’ve actually never done that. I’ve never actually gone on my private Facebook page and told people that I have 16 thousand people that are in my courses, 158 countries, I’m helping people get emails everyday sort of thing. I’ve never said that in my private … People that are close to me, like high school friends I’ve never really talked about … Talk to anyway, they don’t know and I think, “You need to do something like that. Whatever it is, you need to cut that umbilical cord so that you can build the tallest building.”
Let’s get practical using an analogy. If you want to build the tallest building in town, you can’t fucking do that if you’ve got ropes and shackles and fucking scaffolding which is somehow impeding your ability to build more levels. The only way that you can build a tall building is if you cut off all of the support chains, I know it doesn’t sound like an accurate analogy but just hear me out here. I don’t have a construction background but just hear me out, if you can try and vibe what I’m talking about. If you want to build the tallest building in town … You can’t build the tallest building in town if it’s being pulled down. You have to first and foremost focus on building that …
If you’re trying to build the tallest building tower, you can’t focus on other little buildings around you. You can’t, as a tall building, look down and go, “How is that little building going to perceive me? How is that little building over there going to react to me? What’s that building going to say about me? What’s this person’s comment going to be about? This person may have left a negative review on my video,” or whatever. If you always think about what other people are thinking, you are distracting yourself from building that tall building.
You can’t have your energy everywhere. You know that Tony Robbins guy? He talks about energy, where your focus goes, energy flows kind of thing. It’s like you have a certain amount of energy. You have a certain amount of energy, like a capacity, and part of that, if you are giving it to other people, you’re losing your momentum and your drive. If you give that energy to other people by are other people’s points of view like, “How are they going to perceive me,” and whatever, you can’t fucking focus on yourself. You can’t. You can’t build the tallest building in town if you’re focusing on other fucking buildings around you, that’s the truth.
Bring that energy back. Focus on building your little building into a bigger building like this, and you know what’s going to happen? People are going to fucking hate you. They’re going to resent you, they’re going to reject, they’re going to get insecure around you, and that’s when you need to block … I actually talked about this in another video, you need to block it out, you really need to.
It’s hard and this is why most people don’t break out of that bubble, because they start to make a change and they pull this way because that’s where their heart is and they want to go this way, but all their fucking friends are like … Of their fucking idiot loser friends are pulling them back the other way, that’s the truth. The moment you cut …
Guys, I’m not saying to get rid of your friends for good, I’m just saying if you can temporarily remove yourself from the Facebook ecosystem … Because for many people social media is going to dictate how they behave so whether it be social media, fucking Google Plus or Google Hangouts or Instagram or whatever, Snapchat, whatever platform makes you behave differently than at your full self, you need to temporarily get yourself off it so that you can focus on yourself. Then when you remove that influence you can build the biggest building in town and make it tall. Then you can come back, if you want, and then bring those people back in.
You know what’s interesting is that when you go through a transformation and cut those people away then you go back to the … How different you are to those … It’s like, “I can’t believe I hung around with this …” This is it, “I can’t believe I hung around with this person.” Because you’ve built your building so tall and you’ve had that break from them, you go back to them six, eight months later and you go, “Fuck, you haven’t changed. You still live in the same fucking town, you’re still smoking weed, you’re still drinking every Friday night,” and they look at you and they’re more envious of you and you lose a friendship. That’s what happens, that’s the truth.
Look, I’m talking about things that are not very pleasant but this is the harsh reality if you want to be the best version of yourself physically, and I’m all about being the best version of yourself physically and I’m very passionate about sharing that with the world how to do it. It’s not just about nutrition, it’s not just about how you fucking train, it’s about this thing up here and it’s about the people you … It’s absolutely your peer group, a hundred percent. It’s a big piece of the puzzle and no one talks about it, but you need to at least temporarily break away from them.
Start training because you’ll be like, “It’s so lonely.” It is lonely. For me I’m a fitness competitor, it’s fucking lonely. I feel like I’m isolated right now from the world, it’s lonely. It is lonely when you cut away people that you used to go to school with or used to hang out with or your work colleagues, and you don’t go out socialising anymore and you’re taking six months, seven, eight months off your friends, your old peer group, it’s fucking lonely. There’s a period of time where it’s lonely but then what happens, you meet new people.
I’ve met other fitness model competitors, I’m like, “Fuck, where have these people been for years? I’ve been hanging around with fucking idiots, honestly.” And I’ve just got that power to push through no matter what’s going on around me, but you’ll meet new people, always, always, always. If you fish in a different pond, you’re going to catch different fish, do you like that?
I’m going to wrap this up my friends, it’s five past nine in the morning, I’ve got to go to work. This guy has to work. I appreciate that you dropped in to say, “Good day.” I actually have my black coffee here, I’m actually allowed to have it. I’m 13 days from stepping on the stage and I’m getting more and more excited. It’s a Monday morning and I start work at 10 o’clock this morning and so I’m having a [lone 00:12:53] black right now.
Look guys, if you are jumping into the video and you’ve just come from this video straight from the online crazy world that we live in, subscribe to the channel. If you like this video you’ll probably like the other ones as well. I really appreciate your support for those that are coming back watching this, you guys mean a lot to me. I can’t actually think of anything else I’d rather be doing right now, I’d rather just be sitting in front of this camera and just chatting to you, just making you friends. You know what, it’s just like, “This is the new way we can make friends. Brand new way.” It’s like I can reach out to you … It’s a little bit weird, little bit awkward.
Anyway just real quick before I … I’m going to literally finish this in less than a minute. I’m all about helping people with body transformations and losing fat, building muscle, that kind of shit, I’m really passionate about it. I’m not sponsored by anybody, I don’t want to be, I don’t really care. For me, I’ve struggled with this area of my life so much. Fitness was a real struggle for me and I tried everything, [inaudible 00:14:00] many, many, many times.
I was the 18 year old guy in the gym trying to get a six-pack, that’s how far back we go, and training in my bedroom in my parent’s house. I’m 31 now and single but honestly, it was an area of my life that I really struggled with and I said to myself, “When I ever figure this whole health and fitness transformation out,” because it just seemed so fucking impossible, “I’m going to figure out a way of paying it forward and helping every single …” You have no idea how much of a mission I’m on, I’m rambling now. But you have no idea how much a mission …
I’m on a massive mission. I feel unstoppable, I’m on a massive mission to help people with their physiques and that kind of stuff, which is why I have Snapchat. People can direct message me on Snapchat or snap questions and I answer them … 24 hours, and dms on Instagram and that kind of stuff. Also, I share stories on Instagram as well so you get to see me wake up at 5:10, 5:15, 5:17, 5:30, here’s the sunrise, boom, [crazable 00:15:04] emojis and that kind of thing. Then you see me train a little bit with a hands-free on Instagram, and then you see me do some meal prep as well, and that’s it.
Subscribe if you haven’t already. Thank you so much for your support. I want to talk to you forever but I can’t, I have to go to work so thanks very much and I’ll speak to everybody [inaudible 00:15:27]